My Friend Violet has an “inner circle” of 98k women. One day, she surveyed her gal pals about a very intimate and not often discussed subject: vagina. Though these women have been surveyed before regarding anti-aging approaches, never before has there been such an outpouring of response. Within a 24-hr period, 4k women of all ages replied with their serious worries about how their vaginal discomforts were interfering with riding bikes, working out, wearing sexy undies, and having sex. Most importantly, they felt shame and fear that they were going to lose their loved one because sex truly hurt. Of course, there were a good number of women who said they were either about to re-enter the singles world after years of marriage and were a bit anxious about how things were “down there”. Lastly, some women just wanted to make sure that they didn’t lose their mojo as they just became empty nesters and new opportunities for romance were popping up.
What became clear for all of them, regardless of why they wanted to know more about what to do to support their vaginal and sexual wellness, was that they craved a conversation that could help. They were living with their concerns festering in their own minds and maybe researching online where information and social media is confusing if not demoralizing. Violet did her own homework and developed this resource of trustworthy truths and a community of support so they (and you) are not alone anymore.
It’s time, my friends, to normalize the conversation. #YOURVAGINASFINE was the hashtag movement fueled by Refinery29 that came in in response to 48% of over 3500 surveys from their female readers indicating significant concerns about the “quality” of their vagina. Porn, social media, the cosmetic industry, the anti-aging industry, and GOBS of misinformation have used cyberspace to fill our mental space with insecurities and unrelenting ideas of how our vagina should look, smell, squirt, squeeze, and more. We read and hear all of this without much of a checks-n-balances through real conversation dissecting hype from health. Men aren’t immune to what’s happening in the online arena of what’s considered “hot”. Violet understands that we can help them combat the same distorted influences so they can fully enjoy our bodies and their own.
How is it that there is a female VP rolling into office and yet we still can’t say “vagina” or talk about it openly in so many settings? My Friend Violet’s friends shared this:
“I have no idea how to tell my boyfriend that sex is so uncomfortable for me…what if he thinks there’s something wrong with me? Maybe there is.” – Amanda, 36 yrs old
“I am so self-conscious about how dry my vagina is…my husband has to use so much lube that it makes me feel like it’s just not good enough down there on my own.”- Leslie, 44 yrs old
“I have been part of a cycling club for years. Over the past six months, I have such vaginal discomfort while riding that I have skipped almost every trip lately. I am too embarrassed to tell my friends why, of course.”- Jill, 40 years old
Violet will share many articles on communication strategies for how to have this conversation with your lover, how to open the dialogue up with children and teens, and how to talk with your healthcare providers. Let’s get on the same page with understanding that where you call your vagina “vagina’ or have a special way of referencing your precious part, it’s time to talk.