Stress, Self-Care & Sex

Self-care has been a trend that turned into a regular consideration if not a full-on lifestyle for most of us since around 1980. Whether you define “self-care” as getting your nails done, taking a Zumba class, being Vegan, or enjoying a nightly cocktail doesn’t matter as much as having the mindset that self-care is simply ok and maybe even important to you. You might need to learn more about your choices for optimal results, but being open to the idea of caring for yourself is a great start!

Since the onset of the 2020 Pandemic, the concept of self-care became differently defined to include physical practices of masking, frequent washing, and social-distancing. As time went on, though, it also meant stress-management more than ever before. With couples quarantining together and singles doing the dating thing with new parameters (meaning digital and distance dating rather than becoming quick bedfellows), the sexual wellness part of self-care has absolutely come to the forefront. For many, it’s been a time of question and concern about how they are holding up in the bedroom or the kitchen, if you are more of a counter sex person 🙂

Violet wants to give you the tools you need to figure out where struggles are coming from and/or how to prevent problems from happening. Self-Assessments are designed with well-researched questions the answers to which yield insight into how you are doing and what you may need to improve your experiences. Periodically, Self-Assessments will be provided that help you to evaluate stress levels, nutrition quality, emotional needs, communication styles, and even associations you have with your own body and sex. Of course, we will be sure to lead you to new ideas and solutions regarding whatever the assessment focuses on!

Today, we are going to help you evaluate your stress level and guide you to some great NEW (as in not the same ole “go for a walk” or “meditate”) suggestions! Stress is probably the biggest body bandit as it robs us of everything from patience, to creativity, to orgasms. Chronically higher cortisol (stress chemical) levels impact our hormones dramatically. It can stop our periods and thwart our vaginal responsiveness. Heck, if nothing else, lots of stress in our lives creates tension in our relationships making physical intimacy lower on the list of priorities.

So let’s start with a simple Stress Self-Assessment:

  1. SLEEP: How is the quality of your sleep? Easy or Hard to fall asleep? Do you stay asleep through the night? Are you rested when you wake up? Do you find you want to go to sleep throughout the day?
  2. MOOD: 80% of the time, do you find you’re feeling calm, cool, and collected? Are you experiencing more regular moments throughout the day or week of irritability, impatience, frustration, or sadness than a year ago?
  3. ENERGY: Is your energy there for you when you need it? Do you feel depleted often? Do you have energy for fitness? Do you have energy for sex?
  4. MENTAL SHARPNESS: Are you forgetting things (keys, names) more than before? Have you lost some creativity for work or problem-solving? Do you feel foggy often or by the end of the day?
  5. NUTRITION: Do you have regular bowel movements? Are you often feeling crampy or bloated? Are you craving sugary foods? Are you going many hours without eating?

STRESS demonstrates the mind:body connection so well. Violet learned the powerful link between the brain and the vagina, specifically. In other articles, you will read about the vaginal microbiome and the brain, called the “Vagina:Brain Axis”. For now, check out why the brain is your biggest sex organ:

“Stress less, orgasm more.”- Your Friend, Violet.

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