You can read endless articles on gratitude and body positivity is the new buzz phrase for empowerment gurus. Violet has spent decades researching the brain and is about to straighten out some of the reasons why both gratitude and any kind of positive thinking may not be having the impact others have promised you. In this article, you will learn specifically about how to activate the power of gratitude. If you want to know more about your brain is helping or hurting your sex life, check out Boost Your Sexual Chemistry here on My Friend Violet.
The key to unlocking the incredible impact of gratitude and positive thinking, in general, is to remember one thing: our brain won’t let us deceive it. That means we cannot tell ourselves we are grateful for something just because we are “supposed” to be. For example, “I am grateful for the roof over my head” doesn’t work if you are incredibly stressed out over paying the mortgage.
The healing energy of gratitude comes from raising awareness of deeply held genuine appreciation for something or someone. We often lose sight of the small things that make a positive difference because we are so busy, multitasking, or becoming numb to the subtleties of goodness. Similarly, the potential magnitude of gratitude is never reached by the simple act of making a list of thanks. While a great way to start, the life-changing gratitude Violet wants you to discover comes from actually “exercising” it by pausing, noticing, feeling, and expressing gratitude. It’s a totally different experience with gratitude than what happens with list writing. It’s not a remote-control “I love you” response at the end of a call. It’s not a Hallmark written card. It’s filling in the one that sells as “blank”.
Gratitude that becomes an Attitude is practiced consistently over time with spontaneity and in response to an experience of noticing something external, internal, or interpersonal. An attitude of gratitude generates three things: a less stressed brain, a less stressed body, and less stressed relationships. A less stressed brain has been discovered to be essential to optimal brain functioning, such as creativity, problem-solving, mood-management, and hormone-regulation. In 2020, we also know that gratitude for our bodies, or body positivity, generates an emotional “freedom” of sorts that then frees our body to function better, too. Gratitude about our bodies actually allows cells to thrive, immune-system to boost, aging process to slow, body fat to drop, and sexual responsiveness to be enhanced.
Violet is ready to reveal the secret sauce for gratitude for your own body that will give your body the internal lift it may need right now. In fact, over time you may find you a new bit of swagger in your step! Remember, our brain won’t allow us to lie to it. So this may take some time with shifting your associations about your body before you can feel the magic of gratitude in full effect.
Start with the following recipe and, with consistency over time, your Attitude of Gratitude will prevail:
- Connect with your Self physically: Violet practices a unique “Mind in Muscle” routine every day as she’s walking or working out. Rather than simply going through the motions, she puts her attention into one muscle or two and really feels it working for her. With every step, Violet feels one butt cheek tighten just a tad or squeezes it intentionally. This exercise of noticing our muscles working for us is an appreciation for how we are moving through life.
- Get into a Flow State body activity: For Violet, this means dancing alone in her living room for a half hour sometimes! Flow State is a condition where we get so lost in an activity that we lose track of time. We become so engrossed in what we are doing that all stress leaves the mind & body. Some people run, bike, stretch…and some masturbate.
- Re-imagine: Before wisdom happens, we are blessed with something so powerful that we truly believe we can fly or that our invisible friend is real. Imagination diminishes over the years as we mature, of course. That said, some might say that the influence of social media creates an imagined set of ideals for how to live and look. So what, why, and how do we “re-imagine”? Re-imaging means seeing yourself physically “being” how you want to be. Note: not necessarily focusing on the shape or condition of your body but on how your body is moving and experiencing the fantasy you are considering. This kind of imaginary exercise allows us to develop positive body associations that will actually be recalled when we are really “in the act”. So, imagine yourself on that dinner date or having sex. See yourself walking, sitting, moving the way you feel most confident in your own skin. Imagine the satisfaction your own body brings you.
- Find that one part of you that is your greatest physical “asset”. Violet may not be in love with some parts but she knows she has unique eyes and a well-shaped butt. The eyes are genetics and the butt comes from years of dedicated fitness. Maximize your assets, as with any other part of life. Spend more time appreciating your physical bests than noticing your body imperfections.
- Last and certainly far from least, change your vocabulary. Find words to describe your body in form and function that celebrates what it allows you to do each day. For Violet, words like “capable”, “strong”, “willing”, and “seductive” allow her to foster a gratitude attitude for how her body serves her. Language is what shapes our lens for how we see life, including our bodies. Maybe it’s time for a new prescription?
“Grateful for you.” -Your Friend, Violet